Saturday, November 16, 2013

When life gives you lemons ...

Hell. I dunno. I have a whole damn lemon forrest in my back yard right now. I could probably open up a market and sell them as fresh produce. At least then, I could make some money off of all of my misfortune!

Anyways ... Let me tell you all the Cliff's notes version of my life since about June.

1) I find out my fiance has been cheating on me. I knew something fishy was going on, so I went through his phone in the middle of the night, one night. As soon as I opened it, there were two new texts. I opened it up to a picture of some other female's ass. After a few weeks, much fighting, and much ado, I find out he has apparently been doing this for almost 10 months. Almost 1/2 of our relationship. All the while telling me to buy my dress, buy the invitations, pay the non refundable deposits for the reception site and ceremony site, coming to tastings with me, having me purchase the groomsmen outfits, having the girls order their dresses, having me spend almost $800 on our bridal party gifts. Etc, etc, etc. you get the point. By the end, I (well, my parents and i) were out a good $20K. Am I glad I found out before the wedding? Of course. Am I still pissed? You can bet your britches. Does he help me pay for anything (including the credit card bill he helped run up, or the car he had me cosign/be the main signee for? Of course not.

2) I get fired. For absolutely no reason at all, whatsoever. For the second time within a year. (which of course, in turn, makes me look like a terrible employee, and therefore, in the following months, makes it damn near impossible to get a job. For two reasons. One, I just got fired twice in a row. For two, I can't seem to work at one job for even a year.) but back to why I got fired. First, I must explain why I got hired. This particular restaurant had only been opened for maybe 4 months when I got there. They had already been through two GM's. They had yet to make a profit. Why, you may ask? They were only serving breakfast and lunch, only open 6 days a week, gave discounts to everyone under the sun, and paid 3 separate managers to work 6 am-3 pm. They brought me on to turn a profit. Plain and simple. I added a breakfast bar (cappuccino and espresso and pastries), I added dinner, and I started doing private events. I also cleaned up our downstairs area, hung tv's, and did a lot of marketing with the local hotels, and downtown businesses. Anyways, after about 6 months (as I was promised that if I completed all of these things, and if we started making money), I was terminated. The only explanation that I got was that the owner wanted to "go in a different direction." they gave me a months severance pay, and sent me on my way. I had never received any verbal or written warnings or write-ups. Just, ok, thanks for doing all the hard stuff. Now we are done with you.

3) not a week or so after that, my bridesmaids and I decided to continue our plans and go on my bachelorette trip, even though I wasn't getting married. We called it the "cheaper than a divorce" party. The very first thing i do, is give every girl their present for being in the wedding that they were now not going to be in - a personalized (by them, and therefore every pair was different) pair of Chuck Taylor tennis shoes. Each pair cost between $70-80 apiece, plus tax. But I still wanted them to have them. After getting off to a rough start, and me having to personally drive, and on top of that, drive my own 2004 car (for excuses such as "only my dad can take out my child's car seat" in a brand new accord, or " we won't be comfortable in my car bc it's too small" in a two door, almost new car, we left. In the oldest car of the 4. While noone else offered to help drive. The weekend went relatively well. Obviously, when you put 4 females alone together for 48 hours, something is bound to happen. But like I said ... It was mostly good. I wanted everyone to be happy, and get to do what they wanted to do, and they did, except for one thing. The only thing I put my foot down on ( and I wouldn't even say it like that, bc that's not how it happened), was that I didn't want to go to the City Museum. Yes, of museums, this is the least "museum-like," but it was still a bachelorette party, and the goal was to get out of Memphis, spend time together and have fun. I felt like we had gotten to do this, and I didn't want to do to a museum an hour before they closed, and pay $15 to get in. We had some issues with the hotel (which I solved, and even ended up getting the hotel room for free). But even after I had paid my own way through the whole weekend (which, let's admit ... Code and etiquette says I was not supposed to do, however I did not have a problem doing, and gotten the hotel room for free, I had people that were bitching about pitching in to pay for gas money. Really?!?!?! WTF?!?!? Then, as we are driving home, one of the girls attempts to confiscate my phone from me (because I am driving and looking at pictures, and it was so unsafe). Not offer to drive. Just steal my phone, like I am a 3 y/o. Then, when we got home, some actions occurred by the two girls I've known the longest ... Since the 6th grade. So, about 15 Years. I was told how selfish I was, how all we did was what I wanted to do, etc, etc. and then they promptly left. And I haven't talked to either of them since that day in mid June.

4) After my fiance and I had broken up, i had a friend and her son move in with me. I had worked with her for a while, and thought I knew her relatively well, and she didn't have anywhere else to go. So I thought I was doing what was right. But as a roommate, she never cleaned. She hardly ever did the dishes. She YELLED at her son to go to sleep, at ALL hours of the night. And she thought that because she had an EBT card, and helped buy groceries, (emphasis on the world helped, because it was still 95% her and her sons), that all she had to buy was food. For the longest, she didn't even buy her own toilet paper. And I'm about 99% sure that the entire time she lived here, the only thing she ever bought was laundry detergent (and that was about 1/2 way through). She NEVER bought drier sheets, paper towels, dishwasher soap, trash bags, or anything like that. ..... we will revisit her later.

5) my Mom and I go on my "Mommy-moon." that just kinda was what it was. Towards the end of it, out of nowhere, my OTHER fiance from like 6 or 7 years ago, that I havent said a single word to, in over 5 years, finds me on facebook, and randomly sends me a message, asking me how I am. We proceed to catch up, he tells me he has gone to rehab, has had a son, is in school ... all sorts of things. It seems as though he has finally gotten his shit together. When I get home, we get together and hang out (as friends). We realize that we still care about each other, and the reasons that I was forced to break up with him, he has seemingly fixed, so we try to give this whole thing another shot. Things started off almost perfectly, between us. And, I fell in love with his son the exact moment that I met him. However, the roomate preferred the all female style house. That's when trouble started brewing. My medicine started disappearing. My money started disappearing. Roomate started being a super bitch. Obviously roommate started causing a rift b/w boyfriend and myself, not to mention that he wasn't quite as "remade" as he made himself out to be. After the second time my medicine was gone, I had to file a police report, or my dr (a pain management OBGYN) wouldn't see me anymore. As soon as I called the police, and they showed up, she flipped her lid, and pretty much kicked herself out of the house. Then, she started sending me threatening text messages, such as "dumb bitch, you better watch your back," and things of that nature. Therefore, I was forced to get a restraining order against her. As for the boyfriend, even after she left, money and pills still ended up missing. His only excuses were that I "must have spent it somewhere and I dont remember" and that "I either hid it from myself, or I took 22 pills, and just don't remember." Now, I don't know if he thinks I'm a complete moron, or what, exactly makes him think I'm going to believe some bologna like that, but out the door, he went to. While his excuse to his family was, "She just thinks she's too good for everybody. No one is good enough for her."

6) Admist all of this, my father (who was worried about me dating him again, due to what happened the last time we were together) pretty much gave me the ultimatum of, I either choose him and the rest of my family, or I choose someone who could potentially BE my family, when the rest of my family is dead. Insert decision of a lifetime.

7) And, then there are the reasons why I will randomly tell you that I am having a bad day, or I don't feel good. For those of you that don't know much about me, or much about these words that I'm about to use, here goes:

a) I have endometriosis. I have had it as long as I can remember. The dr's have been wanting me to have a hysterectomy since I was about 23. I've had surgery twice, and gone through fake menopause twice. I'm hoping to have surgery again before the end of the year. And I've decided to try to have a child on my own in 2014. If it doesn't happen by then, I'll go on and take it out, and go the adoption route. But, here's info on endo:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/endometriosis/DS00289
b) I have lupus. Incredibly bad joint pain and stiffness, headaches, memory loss. If I do too much, too fast, without any break, anywhere in the middle, or I forget to take my medicine, I am worthless. I might as well find somewhere, anywhere to just go on and lay down, because I'm going to go to sleep. In bed, in the office, on the floor wherever I am ... it doesn't matter.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lupus/DS00115
c) severe migraines. We're talking about the kind of migraines where you can hear every sound. Like the leaves rustling in the backyard. And the cars driving down the road. And the dog breathing. And your watch ticking. But you hear them all at once. And any slight bit of light, makes your head hurt even more. Put the two together, and you are running to the bathroom to throw up. That's why my bedroom is painted DARK purple, and the only two windows have wooden slat blinds that STAY closed, AND curtains over the blinds. It's like a cave.
d) Irritable Bowel Syndrome - caused by stress and all the meds
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/irritable-bowel-syndrome/DS00106
e) panic attacks, OCD, arthritis ... you know ... only about 1/2 of the medical dictionary.



So ... that's me. that's my life. that's why i bitch and moan sometimes. errr ...a lot.

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