To my future daughter/neices/all single women ... and those guys that are just nosey

There will be many different types of men in your life ... and many different types of love. And I encourage you to experience them all as you grow up. I encourage you to find someone whom you love so fiercely, with such raw emotion and passion that you don't even know how to describe it or what to do with yourself. And then when it ends, and your heart is shattered into a million pieces, I want you to know that you WILL find the strength and courage to continue on, and you WILL still find love again. It will be a different, and better kind of love. Possibly not as earth-shattering, but equally as important and even more fulfilling. And as you age, and mature, you will learn that you don't actually WANT that earth-shattering, heart-breaking, gut-wrenching kind of love. You will learn that stability, consistency, respect, and loyalty are quite possibly the sexiest qualities you can find in a man. And they can be just as toe-curling as a really steamy romp in the bedroom. When you find that one person that can honestly be your EVERYTHING - your soul-mate, your best friend, your lover, your partner-in-crime, your strength in your time of weakness ... THAT will be "the one." But I also encourage you to have your experiences with each one of your loves, as you are growing up, before you find "the one" that you decide will become your happily ever after. Because I don't know that it's ever truly possible to really appreciate the real thing, without having first experienced heartbreak. I know that I, personally, had two people that I would have sworn to you at the time, that I was going to marry. And two people (one was the same as the aforementioned) that we just ALWAYS had perfect ... chemisty **wink,wink** And that one person who was in both categories, I was six weeks from walking down the aisle with. And then ... I found out he had been cheating on me. For a year. That's right, girls ... a year. As in, the entire time we had been planning the wedding. I say all this to say ... when you find that "special someone" that everything is ssssooooo perfect, and you have SsssOoooo much chemistry, and you are SO in love, and your heart beats a bajillion miles an hour, and everything seems like the perfect fairy tale ... enjoy it. Please ... enjoy it! It's part of your youth, and you will have an amazing time for as long as it lasts. Mine was about two years. But ladies ... he is NOT "the one." "The one" makes your heart flutter in a different way. He will be your best friend. Instead of saying "I want to go to this party/concert/game" he will say "let's go to this family event/come meet my brother/sister/parents/etc". Instead of saying will you buy me ______, he will bring you home a little special something, "just because." Instead of complaining about what's wrong with him or how he doesn't feel good, he will ask about your day, how you're doing, and ask if you've eaten. When you make dinner, he might help you. With my parents, they joke that my dad is my mom's sous chef. At my house, it doesn't matter what I make, but no matter what I make, the response is always, "Thanks baby, that was SO good." You're going to eat it, you're going to like it, and you're going to be appreciative of it. The joke at my house is "I could make fried dog turds, and you would eat it." So, like I said earlier ... stability, consistency, respect, and loyalty. Loyalty is pretty self explanatory. You should be the only person in your signficant other's love life. You should know that. You should FEEL like it. You should never have any reason to question it. If there is reason for doubt, you need to address it. Because if he is doing something that makes you feel like there could be someone else, and I know this feeling all too well ... it will haunt you. It will keep you up at night. You will lose sleep. And with me, it made me feel like everyone else knew a secret, and I was the punch-line of the joke. You deserve better than to ever feel like this. You must demand it. And no matter what, stay true to yourself. Respect. You must first respect yourself, and then you must demand it from everyone else. If you don't first respect yourself, then the second is impossible. But once the first is accomplished, then the second should automatically follow. But if he doesn't respect you, then no amount of love will be able to fix this. Consistency. I could set a clock by my hubby's routine, and by our routine in the morning. And you know what? That is incredibly comforting. Because it let's me know that there's no "funny business" going on. And I know that he is always going to call and let me know if something is going to change with the schedule. I always know that he is safe, and where he is, and therefore I don't have to worry. If and when the schedule and/or the consistency changes ... THAT'S when I would start to worry. Appreciation. This one is the most amusing to me. Because men always want to have their egos stroked, and hear about how wonderful and amazing they are, and want us to thank them for everything, etc etc. They want to be spoiled, and have us cater to their every wimb, and treat them like the king of the castle. Likewise, they get their panties in a wad when they do something for us, and we don't acknowledge or thank them for it. "Hey, did you see that I unloaded the dishwasher?" (What he means is, "Hey, don't you see that I unloaded the dishwasher?!?! Aren't you going to tell me what a great job I did, and thank me for it?" And what you really want to say is, "Congratulations! I do the dishes the other 364 days out the year ... you never thank ME for doing them! LOL") So it's a fine line ... appreciation, that is. Because men often forget to thank us for all of the things we do. Or maybe we are just more sensitive, and we want to be appreciated just as much as they do. I read once, that the reason that men don't acknowledge and verbally thank us (women), is because that would be acknowledging that they "need" our help, and they don't want to acknowledge that they "need" anyone's help, because they are "so superior and can do anything by themselves" (kind of like the whole "We don't ask for directions" thing). But that doesn't change the fact that we still want to be appreciated and we want them to verbally acknowledge all of the sweet and thoughtful things that we do for them. However, the truth of the matter is ... we will probably just never get that to the extent that we really want. So we're much better off simply knowing and accepting that fact, and blaming it on "asking for directions," then we are dwelling on it. So, girls, I leave you with this ... love. Love hard, love freely, and keep an open mind and an open heart. One day, after you've experienced love, and a broken heart, and you've put it back together with super-glue and duct tape (maybe even missing a few pieces) ... you will find "the one." But "the one" will look a lot more like "the boy next door" than Prince Charming. Honey ... Prince Charming was the one you almost married. He knew all the right things to say, and he knew exactly what you wanted to hear. That's how he got away with everything for so long. But "the boy next door" ... he will be your best friend over everything else. He's your fairy tale ending and your happily every after.