OK. So ... I'm getting the feeling that you're not going to be responding to any form of communication that I send your way, be it via text or email. We already know that you're not going to answer the phone, OR return the phone call, so that's already a given. What I DON'T know is why. I've tossed a few explanations around in my head ... here's what I've come up with thus far. a) you're completely shutting off all emotions towards me, thus making it easier for you to walk away from me, and back to jes and "the family." however, the reason i still don't understand this option is, why does that mean that you can't even talk to me? does that just make it harder? make you miss me? can you not shut off the emotions if you're still in contact with me? b) you suddenly woke up one day and realized that you no longer have any emotional ties to me. either you no longer care about me, and therefore could care less if you hurt me, or you woke up one day and realized, "I hate this bitch." now ... do i see this as a very likely option? no. but hey. it could happen. c) jes gave you an ultimatum. if you ever talk to ann again, this thing between us will NOT work. she sees you even talking to me as "emotional cheating," or something of that sort. well, i hate to break it to her, but if you even think about me, or love me ... REGARDLESS of it you're talking me ... the feeling is still there. the part that disappoints me is ... i never thought that you were the type of man that would let someone tell you what you were and were not allowed to do. or who you were and were not allowed to talk to.
But anyways ... here's my idea. Instead of bombarding you with every thought that goes through my head, or making you feel bad every time i miss you (which, i DON'T do, by the way, because i miss you every second, of every minute, of every day ... just FYI), i've decided to model my communication with you after your communication with jes and the kids from the past year. hey ... she still got to talk to you, and annoy you, and be a constant hurdle in our relationship, so i get to too, right?!?!? yes. it's gay. i know. but until you either tell me to fuck off, or i miraculously decide that i hate you more than i love you (which i don't foresee happening anytime ... well ... ever), i don't intend on going away. it's like my very own form of custody ... of you :) bahaha. you know it made you laugh. it's kind of like visitation, except i don't ever get to see you :( or talk to you :( but you get to see me :) so ... since i don't take nearly as many cute pictures as the kids do, i can't exactly text you a zillions pictures a day. and since i can't get you to skype with me, i can't really do that twice a week. However, i can do some sort of combination of the above. so here's my plan ... until you decide that you're ready to respond ... in some way shape form or fashion ... with either a hello ... or a fuck off ... i'm going to send you some sort of picture on Saturday's, and an email on Wednesday's. So those will be your happy days. Hopefully ... :) i mean ... who wouldn't be excited to see a picture of this cute face?!?!?!?
Anywho ... i hope you like my plan. I hope you are laughing at my retarded, stubborn, OCD ass. I hope you have a wonderful birthday with Isa. Please find a quick moment when Jes isn't in the room, and give her a big hug and tell her I said happy birthday, that i love her, and that it's her day to be a princess.
I love you, Christopher. I talk to you soon. Or ... you'll see me soon, rather :)
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