Inner Peace

It's weird.  I have such an inner peace about myself.  I'm not sure if it's because I've finally figured out how I'm going to handle all of this, or if it's because I truly am THAT confident that everything will end up as it's supposed to.  And ... for the record ... NO.  I don't mean, that everything will be ok, no matter what you decide, although I'm sure that will be the case as well.  But I really am that confident that true love will prevail.  I'm just really not worried about it anymore.  I'm ok with allowing you some time to do what you need to do to figure out whatever it is that you need to figure out.  Allow you the freedom to make some mistakes.  Do what you need to do.  Be there for the kids.  And then realize that you need me too.

I came up with what I'm going to do for your birthday.  I started working on the plans today.  The thoughts and beginnings of the planning stages brings so much joy to me, that I cannot wait to know what the final product does for you.  Not that I will get to see the look on your face ... unless of course, you face time me with that nifty iphone 4, we both have ;)  And if you don't ... it's ok.  Because I know it will make you smile.  I can already see the look on your face.  You may even shed a tear.  Just one though, lol.  I mean ... not to be TOO confident or anything ... but ... it's gonna be pretty fabulous ;)  At least ... I think so :) :) :)

Don't get me wrong.  There's times that I get sad.  And I always miss you.  And I still don't understand, completely, why you're doing what you're doing.  But I support you.  And I always will.  Even if sometimes I think you're crazy.  And even if it hurts.  Really bad.  I just wish you weren't such a doody head when you were doing what you had to do.  And I wish you tried harder at making me understand.  Instead of saying, "I don't expect you to understand."  And I wish that you didn't ignore me, like you wished I would go away.  Because that's what it feels like.  Yet we both know that's not what you want.  Everyone on the PLANET knows thats not what you want.  Otherwise, you would just tell me to go away.  And not tell me that I'm the last person in the world that you want to hurt.  You wouldn't tell me that you'll always love me.  You're not a liar.  You're not an asshole.  You're just not.  I don't like you right now; I don't understand you right now; but I'll always love and support you.  Even when you're being a poo-poo doo-doo stinky butt.

Yup.  That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it :)